I’m ridiculously annoyed these days, and it’s pretty much all directed at the kid that Cowboy’s got working for him that’s living in my old camping trailer.

The kid is the grandson of a friend of the family, and he works hard enough although he’s got a lazy streak.

But he’s a filthy pig with no sense of polite houseguest behavior, and I’ve had quite enough.

What kind of houseguest uses his host’s towels? No, not a clean towel from under the sink; that would be quite appropriate. No, this kid grabs the closest towel to the shower, which happens to be Cowboy’s, and leaves it all crumpled up and stinky when he’s done with it.

Why stinky, when he’s just come out of the shower? Well, apparently this kid thinks two showers a week are excessive. He’s a complete slob, especially since these guys work hard and get stinky every day. I used the shower this morning, and he must have been the last one to use it last night, as the soap was dirty. Who leaves the soap all brown?

Cowboy took me out to lunch one day when he was working with that kid, so of course, we all went. Cowboy went and washed his hands; I went and washed my hands. Pig Pen? Oh, no. He preferred to eat his sandwich with the delicate seasoning of diesel and dirt all over it. It wasn’t too long after that that he joined us for dinner, again with the no hand washing. I have NOT encouraged that since; I don’t even mention dinner if he’s in the house.

This kid is getting free housing, such as it is, from his employer, and yet thinks it’s perfectly OK to use up the last of the shaving cream, use up shampoo that I bought (although granted, he doesn’t use much of it), and leave track marks on the toilet seat. I’m horrified every time he comes in the house.

Last night he came in and zoomed into the shower right in front of his host, who was watching the last five minutes of The Amazing Race with his clean clothes sitting right there in front of him. Honestly, I couldn’t have stood another five minutes of him standing in the room, he smelled so bad. He smokes like a chimney, and between that and the BO, I got an instant headache just from being in the same room with him.

My last straw last night was when he asked me if his overalls were dry. Look, asshole, I’m your boss’ spouse. I’m NOT going to do your fucking laundry for you. Cowboy must have thrown them in there so he could use his very own washer and dryer himself, or else he couldn’t stand the smell of driving in with him any more. Or, possibly, the overalls surrendered and dove into the washer themselves. That is more plausible than Pig Pen actually washing them, and I’m sure they were sentient by then.

I don’t know why he can’t go rent an apartment with his very own bathroom—Cowboy pays the boys enough to do that, and the other ones live on their own just fine. He doesn’t even drive his own vehicle to town, since it’s almost always broken. He takes one of the company vehicles, and last night he got stopped in it.

I don’t know why Cowboy is keeping him, except that it’s been really hard to find good workers. So hard that apparently he’ll settle for a barely adequate and thoroughly creepy one. Cowboy’s sometimes too nice to people.

I’m ready for that one to get fired. Or pressure-washed. That would do too. It’s going to take that.