I don’t know if my fling has flung or if this new guy is just incredibly moody, and I don’t like not knowing which it is.

It’s like a switch was thrown; Saturday morning he was perfectly fine, and considering ways that we could stay in touch after his job moved on. On Saturday afternoon he got sick, so I let him be, but he was still talking to me. Sunday and Monday, not so much so. I’d kind of written off Sunday to him being sick and cranky, and felt better about it when he apologized to me on Monday, but he was still not talking much, and what conversation there was was oddly professional. Which did not fit at all with the previous week.

I don’t know. I sure had fun with him, and wasn’t looking for anything long-term, but it still bites a little to be walked away from for mysterious reasons. I’ve had quite enough of that this year and had no intention of opening myself up for more.

I don’t care about it enough to confront him with it though. Either I’m being my typically oblivious self and he’s had enough of me, in which case nothing needs to be said, or he is just sick or moody and he’ll get over it.

So maybe I was recovered enough to relax and have fun with the whole dating thing, but not enough to be comfortable with the stopping dating thing. Because I have to ask myself why I think I’m setting myself up for even small tastes of rejection. Life is just much easier when I stick to going out with friends. Were the fantastic couple of nights worth it? Actually, I think they were. I’m just a little miffed, not hurt, and it really was nice to feel 16 again if only for a little while.

I’m not sure that dating is something that I really want to be good at. I’m not an expert at this part, even though I’ve been down this road before. What I am good at is being a girlfriend, and I make a fantastic ranch wife. I guess dating is a requirement to being either one of those, and while I don’t have a particular drive to be those just yet, I would like to not be alone for the rest of my life. I thought dating someone with a guaranteed expiration date would be a nice way to have fun without all of that “future” pressure, but apparently if I like someone enough to see more than once, I like him enough to be just a tiny bit hurt if he walks away. I’ll get over it in a day or two; it’s not like the love of my life left me for no reason. Well, not this time anyway.