There was a blip on the radio on the way in to work this morning about redneck poetry. Now, I don’t write poetry and I don’t particularly want tickets to Toby Keith (sacrilege! But I’ve seen him) but I do like a nice haiku now and then, and the more off-beat, the better. Feel free to add to them in the comments.

That bear killed my hound
Tracking collar not helping
if signal don’t move

That’s a redneck car
Four wheel drive El Camino
with big mudder tires

Almost deer season
Time to sight in the guns
and pack the cooler

The trailer’s ready
only a little dry-rot
but the heater works

You have a problem?
This is my favorite hat
It’s old and dirty

Nothing like cooking
barbecue on the back porch
bring on the beer!

Don’t complain about
smell of cowshit in the air
the cows were here first

Quit building houses
in our cornfields and pastures
commuters go home

Lost our red heeler
jumped out of the truck in town
hasn’t come home yet

Had to add one after the last phone call:

Truck still anemic
intercooler backordered
stuck in the flatland