Overstepping my bounds
June 2nd, 2007 by 
cowgirljules
Last night, I said some fairly harsh words to a friend of mine, and I feel so badly about that.
I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true, and they desperately needed to hear it, but having to say it out loud was so unpleasant that I didn’t get much sleep and still feel queasy.
But if they’re going to treat me as their only counselor, and told me so, and blatantly refuse to go see a professional, then by god, I am going to do my damnedest.
They were counting on me not to be a yes-man, so I let down the walls and told them what I saw, from my outsider’s perspective. It wasn’t anything that they hadn’t seen themselves, but they hadn’t admitted that. Bringing it out in the open lets it be dealt with, and they very much need to deal with these things, if they want to keep their sanity.
That friend said that they weren’t mad at me for talking straight to them, but I’m sure some mad developed overnight.
You put me in that role, buddy, and I’m going to step up and do the best I can for you. Even if it costs me one of my friends.
I may have to walk away, for their own good. It will crack my heart, but I’ll do it, and just hope that in time, they recognized what I did for them, and think of me with a little warmth. I don’t know. I’ve done all I can; now it’s up to my friend to shit or get off the pot.
Posted in Life |
June 2nd, 2007 at 11:20 am
That can’t have been easy; hope that if the friendship is an important one it will weather this storm.
June 3rd, 2007 at 5:44 pm
Ooh, that’s rough. I did that once, and it caused quite a rift. But it needed to be said. There’s only so much you can listen to without reacting.
June 3rd, 2007 at 6:25 pm
One time my best friend said some things to me that I was not ready or willing to hear. I was very very angry at her for a long time, but maintained the freindship, albeit at a distance for a little while. It was not until literally at LEAST 10 years later that I realized that what she had said, she said out of love for me and concern for my mental state. I thanked her then, and she cried that I finally understood.
I hadn’t asked for her counsel, but many long years later I was glad she had given it to me. I hope your friend also someday realizes the depth of your love for them, as I finally did.
June 3rd, 2007 at 6:28 pm
I hope he sees that it was out of love, but I doubt that it’ll be any time soon. His response today showed me that my fears of a major rift were justified. But he needed it, and if it helps him, I would have done it again, as painful as it is.
It’s been a long weekend.
June 4th, 2007 at 8:37 am
Good for you!