Did I mention a few weeks back, in the continuing saga of the County: Will They Hire Me or Won’t They, that the manager mentioned that the Board of Supervisors were getting itchy feet about creating a new position? Well, they did, and I broke out in a cold sweat, but the manager and his boss came up with a workaround.

They wanted me to bid on running the system full-time as a contractor. And they wanted me to be available 24/7/365, so it wasn’t going to be a small bid either. I think their goal was to show the Board just how much more it would cost to contract the work out than it would to hire.

I wrote up my bid on half a day’s notice, calculated costs for things like my benefits, extra taxes, and hiring someone to cover for me on my time off, and handed it in, expecting them to swallow their dentures. I made it healthy enough that I really wouldn’t have minded going to work for them at that rate at all, in case they did go for it, but that wasn’t the main goal of the bid.

Well.

The manager called me today as I was leaving work, and sounded very hesitant. Since I just gave him some documents that we’re working on together to review on another contract, my first thoughts were, “Oh crap, what’s he found wrong with them?”

But no. It seems that the Board has decided that they cannot hire someone right now. My heart sank. There went my job opportunities, and now I was going to have to scramble to keep food on the table when the day job runs out.

He went on. Instead, what they want to do is contract me to run the system, full time, same conditions as I bid on, only for a six-month trial period instead of a year. As a temporary contract, it doesn’t have to go out to bid, and they have six months to decide what they want to do for the long term. At the end of the term, they would either hire or put the whole thing out for bid. And did I still want to bid on it, and was half of that original (year-long) bid amount good, or did I want to recalculate numbers?

I didn’t even have to think about it. No, that bid is perfectly good. Yes, I will do that if they offer me the contract. They want it when? A decision by Friday? As in, two days from now? Holy cow.

Yes. My decision is yes. Took me all of four minutes.

So, if all goes well and the negotiations (I’m sure there will be some) come down in my favor, by July 17, you could be looking at a completely self-employed woman. I’ll either quit my day job or talk that down to minor part time, and go to work for myself full time.

It’s terrifying and completely exhilarating at the same time. This little business has never been more than pocket money to me, although it’s paid for my truck. We as women live in a world where we almost always have someone to fall back on; a father, a husband, an employer; something. To walk away from the last piece of security I had and stand absolutely on my own feet makes me feel so good.

And so afraid! There’s no one to take up the slack if I get sick or hurt, and it’s worse than the year-to-year contract I have now, as I’m going to have to re-compete for it myself each year. There will be a metric ass-load of stress, but I think it will all be worth it.

After all, my day job was going to run out in six months anyway, so what’s the harm in taking a better job for that time? If, at the end of it, they don’t like me or I hate being my own boss, then I’m no worse off than I am now. I’ll just have to start looking for another job, just like I would if this weren’t on the table. But ideally, I’ll have a bit of a cushion to fall back on, one that I made myself. And I’m really proud of that. Scared, but proud. I’m afraid, but I’m going to get up there and do it anyway, and deal with the details as they come. And I’m going to kick ass at it.