M and Ernie had their annual holiday party this weekend, and it was generally a ton of fun. Most of the people there were their friends from the football league; I’d met some but not others, but hit it off with all of them. I’d have liked to bring Junior, but he had his kids too, and that would be kind of an overwhelming setting for us all to meet each other in. We’re taking that part slowly, at least.

Some of these folks, I felt like I already knew. I’ve sure heard about them enough, and M and I have similar taste in friends, so I knew I’d get along with them. I’ve been friends with Danielle for a year or two, but hadn’t met her husband or sons; they were there and she wasn’t, so that was funny. A couple of my and M’s mutual friends were invited too, and I was looking forward to seeing them. Lisa was bringing her new beau, who’d flown down from Washington to see her this weekend.

And therein lay the problem. When they walked in, I was all prepared to like him, because she is so into him. But he was really creepy from the get-go, very obviously either drunk or otherwise chemically addled. And they were all over each other all night, which made the rest of us, all of whom were parents with our kids present, very uncomfortable. Add in to that mix the fact that he was kind of weird around the kids at first, and got worse as the night went on, and I was very relieved when one of the other guests let me know that I wasn’t the only one, that the whole party hated him. And they kept drinking and kept sucking on each other’s faces.

It got worse later. The kids were playing upstairs, and those two went upstairs too. M’s son had to come down a couple of times to complain that they were in his room with the door shut, at which point the hosts had to begin treating them like delinquent teenagers, and require them to stay in the public areas of the house.

Then one of the other nine-year-olds came up to me with a disturbing conversation.

He said that he’d told drunk guy that he was addicted to video games, in that way children have of making conversation.

And drunk guy told this boy that he himself was addicted to sex. When the boy relayed that to me, never mind that he wasn’t my kid, flames immediately shot out my ears.

I intercepted Ernie, who happened to not only be the host and a fairly large guy, but is also a cop, and told him what had been relayed to me. He and I went upstairs to barely see any heads poking out over the back of the couch, and he sent me back down for M. I quickly brought her up to speed, and we three went to deal with it. M pulled Lisa off the guy and took her into another room for a talking-to. I was fuming, and I stood at the foot of that couch and threatened to beat the hell out of that guy if he so much as dared to talk to any of the children. I wasn’t sure if he even comprehended.

After we went back downstairs and filled the rest of the parents in on what was going on, here come them two, slinking down the stairs like they were leaving. Now, that’s a problem too, as they were neither in any condition to drive, and our host can’t exactly let them leave the house and kill someone. Besides, with the unstable way this guy was acting, we were a little worried about leaving Lisa alone with him. Eventually, the four men ganged up on him while he shouted at them and I herded the kids back upstairs to keep them out of it (and wow, did they all mind me very well when it was important!)

An hour or so later, when I’d cooled off enough, I took my kids and got them out of that situation, even though they were having a ball. I hadn’t intended to stay there, so I was sober and wanted my own bed. I felt pretty bad about having a part in that situation and then leaving, but it was the best thing I cold do for my kids, and that’s my priority. I gather from M that he got worse again though, and the other parents took them to a sleazeball motel to get them away from everyone else.

M is inclined to give Lisa the benefit of the doubt, and think that it might all have been drunk guy’s fault. I’m much less forgiving though, and from my point of view, she’s as guilty as he was. She doesn’t have kids herself, and talks a big game about how she loves children and likes to do family-oriented things, but this showed me that she’s all talk. The rest of us were behaving appropriately for our children; drinking and having fun, yes, but we sure as hell didn’t bring any shady characters around them, make inappropriate comments to young boys, or climb into each other’s pants while the kids were right there.

Were she as responsible as she likes to think she is, I can see any number of places where she could have defused the situation before it got to that point. Say, how about not bringing an already-loaded guy into a party full of kids? Or not drinking herself so she could take him home if he got out of hand? Or possibly refusing to act like a horny teenager in front of everyone?

I’ve been burned before by someone childless who acted like this, and in fact, Lisa reminded me of her so strongly when I met her that I was very slow to warm up to her. Looks like I was right, and I’m disappointed to be so. It would have been nice to have more women friends, but I just don’t see keeping a strong friendship with this one. I’m not terribly forgiving, and as far as I’m concerned, she’s shown her true colors. I’ll be able to interact with her somewhat on my own, but I don’t believe that woman will ever be around my kids again. I may be unforgiving and hard, but I make no apologies for that.

 

It was such a good party, other than that, that I’m doubly annoyed that she tainted it. I’d like to spend more time with the rest of these people, and I will.