At a routine physical last week, I hopped on the scale and gasped. I was as heavy as I’ve ever been.

We both knew we’d been gaining weight; apparently being happy brings that on for both of us. Not doing our usual eating like crap thing, but going out a lot and cooking for each other is fun but has inevitable side effects. We’ve been talking about eating healthier for a while now, and making slow changes.

This was a shock for me though, so I jumped right in to full-on diet mode. And I know I get cranky when I’m hungry, and I warned him so. So neither of us really should have been surprised when I was a touchy bitch all weekend. I really tried to maintain some level of composure, but between all of the kids getting on my nerves, being hungry all the time, and the stress of the house-buying thing, I just was cranky.

I hate to lay it on him, and he’s so good about being patient with me. He had a headache all weekend himself, and I just don’t know that I could have taken my partner’s bitchiness on top of that very well at all, but he did it, somehow.

Since it was my birthday and we had a little family barbecue, I at least called off the diet for a little while. I like my pie, after all, and I needed to just stop obsessing about it for a while. Of course, now I’m a little mad at myself for probably losing whatever progress I’d made. Dieting is a vicious circle for me, and I’m not sure I should be doing it at the same time as buying a house.

The house thing is huge to me too. I have not a doubt in my mind that it’s not only the right thing to do, but the right time to do it, but it scares me to death to think about signing my name away to the biggest amount of money ever. I’ve been without a mortgage for almost a decade, after all, and it’s going to be a shock. We’d planned to do it a little later in the year, but the stagnant house market is starting to move around here, which means the prices will go back up, and the interest rates are still down. Since we can do it, now is the time.

We sat down with a lender on Friday, and should know exactly what we’re qualified for later today. I’m confident that it will be for much more than we actually want to spend. After we have the letter in hand, we’ll go find a real estate agent and start actually looing inside houses, not peering into windows like we’ve been doing.

We were hoping to split our commutes, but it’s looking more and more like he’ll have the brunt of it. The nicest neighborhood, with the kind of places we want, is down close to me. Since I’m the one who’s on-call, it’s important to stay close to my job. Too bad it worked out that way, as I’m actually the one who doesn’t mind the driving, but either way, fuel prices are going to hurt us. He’ll be taking whichever vehicle gets the best mileage, and at least he’ll be driving at odd times, since he’s going to be working third shift here pretty quickly.

It’s been a hell of a ride this year, stress-wise. Two new contracts for me, becoming my own boss, meeting the man of my dreams, doubling the size of my family, and now buying a house and moving. No wonder I’m not handling dieting well.

Once I stepped back and looked at all of that, I decided to go a little easier on myself. I’m still going to work at being healthier; more walking, less eating of junk; but I’m not going to starve myself. My sanity is more important than my spare tire, for now.