Since this is my last day in my fourth decade, the past ten years have been on my mind a lot. It’s been a busy time; I’ve felt more alive in this decade than any other before it. It hasn’t all been good, but at least I didn’t feel like I was wandering through it in a fog, like most of my 20s.

I’ve grown a ton in the last ten years. I’ve done a lot of different things. I’ve come a long way towards being the person I want to be, although I’m not done yet. I will probably never be done.

I parlayed a part time job into two part time jobs, and then negotiated one of them into a full time job. I kept jumping in place, always reaching beyond what was comfortable and where I felt competent. I worked for six different companies, all at the same basic location. One job led to another, a stretch for me each time, until I went off on my own. From scratching to feed the kids, I now own the business and a house. I don’t have to feed them macaroni and cheese for dinner any more.

I got divorced, which was one of the smarter decisions in my life. I picked myself up from the pieces of that, fell in love, and had my heart stomped on again. Somehow, I managed to pick it up again and make much better choices, and fall in love yet again for the last time. I started the decade ending a marriage and am ending the decade starting one.

I spent my single years having a ball with a good group of people. Things that I had never relaxed enough to let myself do when I was younger, I embraced.   I spent a summer just about living at the lake. I went to more rodeos than I can count. Hell, I even announced a rodeo. I bought that horse I’d always wanted, sold him at a profit when he turned out to be all wrong for me, and bought a better horse. I spent a lot of those years on the back of a horse, even with a cast on my leg.

I got hurt a fair amount, physically and emotionally, and didn’t let it stop me for too long at a time. I lost thirty pounds, twice. I wore a bikini for the first time since sixteen. I changed my hair color three times, but only changed my hairdresser once. I went through four trucks in a decade, but I still own and use two of them. I grew from a decent cook to a really good one, and built a kitchen to be proud of.

I lost three grandparents, found and lost a family, and found another one. I doubled my children, cleverly without having to actually be pregnant again. I really went through an excessive number of dogs, but the best dog ever is still with me after most of the decade.

I travelled. I spent a New Year’s Eve in Las Vegas. I saw the National Finals Rodeo, twice. I went on a couple of cruises. I saw Alaska and Mexico. I flew to Colorado to see friends get married. I went to Washington, DC, twice. It was much better with company than alone, but alone was interesting too. I spent time on the beach and lots of time in the mountains. I never let being alone stop me from doing what I wanted to do.

I worked hard at becoming the person that I wanted to be. I’m not there yet, and I could spend a lot of time detailing how I’m not there yet, but I won’t. I’m a lot more patient, and I try harder to think things through before I do or say them. I fail a lot, but it doesn’t stop me from trying any more. I’ve come out of my shell. That shy person sometimes lurks in the background, but I can walk right over her if I want to. I learned to dive right into things that seem intimidating, and learn how to do them as I go along. I learned to be comfortable in my own skin.

All in all, heartbreak and everything, I think it was an astoundingly successful decade. I seem to be on the path that I’ve chosen, for once, rather than blindly going wherever I was pushed. And if my 30s were so good for me, I can’t wait until my 40s, to see what happens next. Fortunately, that starts tomorrow.